[the verbal equivalent of a physical promise, all presence and posture and paranoia wrapped up in a malnourished anomaly --- his friend, Kaneki Ken, a person he would and had lay down his life for. A person who could easily snap him and any of his foes (magic not withstanding) in half, offering him aid for what was obviously half of ALASTAIR's missions.]
[it was fair: Hide had about as much offensive skill as a startled songbird.]
[but it was also a-- question, a curiousity, a why don't you want to return? He knew his own reasoning-- he could feel out his own reasoning, he felt the edges of it, all bluster and fear and a dose of finally found him, but it wasn't complete and he found it far easier to wonder at Kaneki's excuse. Kaneki, his friend, offering the side he wanted to hide the most to keep Hideyoshi safe. At the end of the day, who knew how much it would help; but the thought, the offer, that mattered more than words.]
if you ever need somewhere to crash, Kaneki, you know my door is open
[acceptance, acknowledgement, and reciprocation.]
[an offer he'd thought had been clear before, but obviously hadn't. maybe if he'd offered-- maybe if they'd been able to communicate like this--? Maybe, maybe, maybe the present wasn't too late.]
[Was it that strange to imagine he might not be in a rush to return home? The words seem to find him at odd points in the day, sharp with a cloying type of hope which only seemed to poison him now: "Come on, let's just go home." It wasn't that easy. It would never be that easy. He couldn't just drop what he was, what he had become, everything he had done and return back to being a university student. It would find him. Aogiri, the CCG, anyone—they would find him, and the exposure would be even worse.
"Home" was a place that was no longer welcoming, even more harmful because it was interlaced with memories of when things had been simple, had been commonplace. It had become difficult, even walking the streets in Tokyo, so easily seeped into memories of where his mind had been before Rize, before the accident, before all of this.
In that, it was almost easier being in a foreign world, fighting battles that weren't his own. And Hide being here... it worried him, but in a selfish way, he was happy. It had been his imperative that he had pushed his friend away (for his own good, always for that), but it didn't mean he hadn't missed him.
Of course, there were the other reasons. The simple fact that, if they were dropped right where they were found, there was nothing left for him back home. Nothing but the CCG's reaper, standing amidst a field of corpses.
...The offer means a lot, even though he isn't sure he'll be able to accept it any time soon. As much as he feared Hide learning the broader strokes in how he had been changed, he didn't want him aware of some of the smaller things either. He's silent a moment before answering.]
Yeah. I'll... I'll keep that in mind. ...Thanks, Hide.
[It doesn't convey across text, but the sentiment is somewhat raw. Thanks didn't even start to cover it. For accepting something like him, the capricious and dangerous creature he had become, so easily... In a way it worries him, but otherwise it...
Feels far more like "home" than their planet Earth currently does.]
no subject
[it was fair: Hide had about as much offensive skill as a startled songbird.]
[but it was also a-- question, a curiousity, a why don't you want to return? He knew his own reasoning-- he could feel out his own reasoning, he felt the edges of it, all bluster and fear and a dose of finally found him, but it wasn't complete and he found it far easier to wonder at Kaneki's excuse. Kaneki, his friend, offering the side he wanted to hide the most to keep Hideyoshi safe. At the end of the day, who knew how much it would help; but the thought, the offer, that mattered more than words.]
if you ever need somewhere to crash, Kaneki, you know my door is open
[acceptance, acknowledgement, and reciprocation.]
[an offer he'd thought had been clear before, but obviously hadn't. maybe if he'd offered-- maybe if they'd been able to communicate like this--? Maybe, maybe, maybe the present wasn't too late.]
right?
no subject
"Home" was a place that was no longer welcoming, even more harmful because it was interlaced with memories of when things had been simple, had been commonplace. It had become difficult, even walking the streets in Tokyo, so easily seeped into memories of where his mind had been before Rize, before the accident, before all of this.
In that, it was almost easier being in a foreign world, fighting battles that weren't his own. And Hide being here... it worried him, but in a selfish way, he was happy. It had been his imperative that he had pushed his friend away (for his own good, always for that), but it didn't mean he hadn't missed him.
Of course, there were the other reasons. The simple fact that, if they were dropped right where they were found, there was nothing left for him back home. Nothing but the CCG's reaper, standing amidst a field of corpses.
...The offer means a lot, even though he isn't sure he'll be able to accept it any time soon. As much as he feared Hide learning the broader strokes in how he had been changed, he didn't want him aware of some of the smaller things either. He's silent a moment before answering.]
Yeah.
I'll... I'll keep that in mind.
...Thanks, Hide.
[It doesn't convey across text, but the sentiment is somewhat raw. Thanks didn't even start to cover it. For accepting something like him, the capricious and dangerous creature he had become, so easily... In a way it worries him, but otherwise it...
Feels far more like "home" than their planet Earth currently does.]